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   Recently Unearthed X-Files Script from 1995 Reveals the Secret Character Richard Belzer Wanted to Play  
   

Richard BelzerGillian Anderson

  Shortly before the publication of my alien book I contacted Richard Belzer and his agent through a mutual connection.  I had always enjoyed The X-Files, and toyed with the idea of how Mulder and Scully would react to a comic who made fun of alien abductees and all things paranormal. 
  The result was the following script, written with Belzer in mind.   
  Through one of Belzer's relatives I learned of his deep admiration for the TV series and his desire to appear on the show.  His agent relayed how much Richard liked the script.  But after it was sent to the producers they decided to have him reprise his role as the wise-cracking Detective John Munch, and not my original character of the wise-cracking comic who turns amorous towards Scully and then... well, read for yourself, in: 
 

 

 

 The New Age Comic
  THE NEW AGE COMIC
   
   (Download PDF version)
 

 "Follow MY bliss, pal!"

PROLOGUE: 

INT. NEW YORK COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT

An MC is on stage; the mood of the audience is good. Even SCULLY and MULDER, seated up front, seem to be enjoying themselves.

MC

...he's traveled far and wide to be here with us tonight -- from Stonehenge to Stony Hendersons just down the street. And folks, don't visit Stony, he waters his drinks. Please welcome, the New Age Comic!

The New Age Comic (JESSE JACOBS) makes his way from the audience to the stage, passing Mulder who looks a little dubious. Jacobs takes the stage with a cocky assurance that's either a mask or a shield.

JACOBS

Thank you, thank you... I'm not really the "New Age" comic, I just channel him while he's on tour. Actually, he was abducted by aliens, and couldn't get out of their management contract.

Scully, sensing Mulder's growing restlessness, tries to stifle a laugh.

JACOBS

How many abductees does it take to screw in a light bulb?... (cueing audience) Come on...

AUDIENCE

How many?

JACOBS

Three: two to screw it in, and one to breed with the aliens while the other two are distracted.

LAUGHTER, except for Mulder, who's bearing it nobly. The audience's laughter, meanwhile, keeps getting bigger.

JACOBS

You know what I hate about alien abductions? Not the physical fear, not the painful and bizarre medical experiments, not the lingering scars and lasting shame... no, I hate it that they never call you again in the morning.

This girl I know, for example, she's been abducted four maybe five times. Then (snaps fingers) like that they stopped. They even told her. "We have finished with you now, thank you, you must go." The kind of thing I used to say before I became enlightened. (fake cough)

Anyway, this chick actually misses them. Kind of like the Stockholm Syndrome where you identify with your captors -- which is why she now wears clown-white makeup and snacks on insects.

Anyway, she misses them and wants to see them again, so I told her, "Place an ad in the personals. Something like: 'Fertile earth woman in search of one who is small, powerful, dominant, and likes to love 'em and leave 'em.'" Come to think of it, screw the ad -- any bar in Queens will do!"

Mulder has had it. He calmly walks away from the table and towards the back exit. Jacobs takes it personally.

JACOBS

That's right, pal, if you can't stand the heat get the hell out of the toxic waste dump!

Mulder keeps moving, and exits the door.

JACOBS

Hey, Pal! Hey, Pal! Follow my bliss, pal!!!

Scully stands up and quickly follows.

JACOBS

Let him go! Abduct him if he can't take a joke!

EXT. ALLEY OUTSIDE COMEDY CLUB - NIGHT

SCULLY catches up to MULDER who is getting in his car.

SCULLY

That's kind of rude, don't you think?

MULDER

Yeah, but I'll forgive him.

SCULLY

(smiles in spite of her pique) It's only your first night off assign- ment. Is there any chance of enjoying your remaining time in the Big Apple during our layover?

MULDER

I don't know. Are there any good restaurants here, or does everyone have bad taste?

SCULLY

(not smiling) I guess you'll have to find out by yourself.

INT. CAR ON HIGHWAY - NIGHT

JACOBS is driving a beat-up sedan, his WIFE seated beside him.

JACOBS

...murdered 'em, I tell you. Letterman, here we come! Check your purse for bail money, baby, we're on the road, now!

His Wife smiles sleepily, leans her head on his shoulder.

EXT. HIGHWAY

The car begins to round a curve when its engine -- and battery -- dies.

INT. CAR

JACOBS

What the...!

He struggles with the ignition, but no luck. His Wife has fallen asleep on his shoulder. Jacobs carefully leans her back on the seat.

As he begins to exit, a BLINDING WHITE LIGHT shines into the car. Jacobs is stunned by it.

EXT. HIGHWAY

Seemingly hypnotized, JACOBS gets out of the car and walks directly toward the light -- off the road and across a FIELD.

As he walks further into the field the light seems to circle around, and shine from down the road.

The sound of an oncoming TRUCK is heard as it approaches the blind corner.

INT. CAR

Jacobs' WIFE is still sleeping soundly. The truck sound is growing louder. The light from down the road becomes the truck's headlights as it rounds the corner and--

INT. CAB OF TRUCK

The DRIVER slams on his brakes, screaming, when a BLINDING WHITE LIGHT illuminates the entire cab, as the Driver vanishes -- literally.

A HUGE METAL-SCRAPING CRASH!!!

TITLE SEQUENCE

 
 

 "It must be your maternal instinct

that attracts him."

ACT ONE:

EXT. HIGHWAY CRASH SCENE - DAY

The HIGHWAY WRECKAGE CREW have been working for hours, but are only now removing the WIFE's body from the wreckage. MULDER and SCULLY arrive in a rented car, exit, and walk to the crushed sedan. As they witness the removal of the body, Detective MATTHEWS approaches them.

MATTHEWS

(his way of greeting:) Not much left to see. One stalled car, one Mack truck, one body.

Scully examines the body. It is not a pretty sight, but something about it puzzles Scully.

Mulder and Scully then survey the area.

SCULLY

Are there any remains of the truck driver?

Matthews shakes his head "no", and leads them to the truck.

MATTHEWS

Take a look. We did a fifty yard perimeter sweep. No body, no blood, not even a footprint.

MULDER

I suppose no witnesses, either.

MATTHEWS

Now you've been fully briefed, Agent. Excuse me, I've got to make sure all of Mrs. Jacobs makes it in the bag.

Matthews turns to leave when Scully stops him.

SCULLY

Did you say Mrs. Jacobs?

MATTHEWS

That's right.

He gestures for a PATROLMAN who brings over an evidence bag. Matthews removes a photo ID from a woman's purse inside.

MATTHEWS

(Cont'd) Mrs. Ruth Jacobs, 160 West End Avenue. Relatives not reachable, yet.

SCULLY

(reaches for purse) Let me see... (she finds a photograph)

MULDER

Something?

SCULLY

Jesse Jacobs -- (shows him photo of Jesse) that comic from last night. This was his wife. And from the look of her injuries, she was crushed by the dash, not the steering wheel.

MULDER

Which means the driver was either thrown from the car... (looks to Matthews who shakes head 'No') Or--

SCULLY

We've got another missing motorist.

INT. COMEDY CLUB - MANAGER'S OFFICE - DAY

SCULLY and MULDER are standing in front of LOU (the Manager) and his desk, surrounded by personalized photos of comics young and old. He scratches at his hand -- either a nervous tick or a rash.

LOU

He was a funny comic, but a terrible driver. And let me tell you one thing, he was devoted to that shicksa wife of his.

MULDER

When was the last time you saw or heard from him?

LOU

Last night. He closed the place. Had a talk with a booker from Letterman, took his cut and split.

SCULLY

Was his wife with him?

LOU

Yeah. Told me they were driving to her folk’s place in Ithaca. Poor Ruthy. Let me tell you one thing, he may like the ladies, but he would never have deserted Ruth.

MULDER

(hands him a card) Please let us know if he should call or show up.

LOU

You and the Post's advertising director.

Scully and Mulder exit.

INT. COMEDY CLUB - BAR - SAME TIME

Agents SCULLY and MULDER walk pass the bar when a scuffle breaks out up front. Two uniformed NYC COPS and Detective MATTHEWS are trying to subdue an enraged JACOBS.

JACOBS

What is this, Nazi Germany?! Go back to storm-trooping school, you Nazi scum!!!

MATTHEWS

...you have the right to an attorney. If you can not afford an attorney--

MULDER

What's going on?

MATTHEWS

I'm reading the suspect his rights, and I can do it a lot faster without your help.

MULDER

What's the charge?

MATTHEWS

Who are you, his lawyer?

MULDER

I'm with the Bureau, Detective. And we can work a lot faster with your help.

MATTHEWS

Well, it looks like you can take in some sight-seeing today, Agent. We've got suspect prime, numero uno, right here. And I'm taking the collar.

Matthews starts to haul off Jacobs, with a little help from NY finest.

 JACOBS

You cretin! Let me go!

MULDER

We'll want to question him.

MATTHEWS

At the station, Agent.

Matthews turns back to his men who drag out Jacobs, who pleads now to Scully.

 JACOBS

Help me! Make them stop!!

EXT. STREET OUTSIDE COMEDY CLUB - DAY

MULDER and SCULLY exit the Club and enter their car.

INT. CAR

MULDER

Matthews is too volatile not to be hiding something.

SCULLY

And Jacobs is too shaken to have planned a murder and walked all the way back to Manhattan.

They exchange looks.

MULDER

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

SCULLY

Matthews is acting like a jealous husband?

MULDER

Or maybe he just didn't like his act.

Scully laughs.

MULDER

We've got two disappearances, with all the classics of alien abduction. One sudden reappearance, who's also a suspect in the murder of his wife, and who's now presently in custody of someone I'll bet isn't too keen on the paranormal defense.

SCULLY

He's not the only one, Mulder.

INT. NYC POLICE PRECINCT - DAY

Detective MATTHEWS is squaring off with MULDER.

 MATTHEWS

This is how I see it: The comic's getting noticed, starts playing around with the broads, wants to dump the wife, so he dopes her and leaves her sacked out in the middle of the road. There's opportunity, motive, and evidence.

MULDER

There's no evidence of foul play, and you haven't even addressed the truck driver's disappearance.

MATTHEWS

Jacobs walked into my stake-out, we nabbed him, that's all I need to know. I've heard about you -- Spooky. Your weirdo theories don't play well in my precinct, and they won't play very well in the press, either.

MULDER

I don't like to throw my weight around, but you're now off the case. And if you even go near a reporter you're off the force.

Enraged, Matthews throws his ashtray at the wall.

MATTHEWS

You slimy, stupid weasel-- !

MULDER

What is it, Mathews? You got something personal against Jacobs? Did your wife see him and --

At the mention of his wife, Matthews loses it, and lunges at Mulder. Fortunately, two COPS outside the door hear the ruckus and enter, pulling the two apart.

SCULLY now makes her entrance, looking like she's witnessing a Pro-wrestling match.

SCULLY

Mulder, what happened?

Mulder has been bloodied, but not badly. Scully glares at Matthews.

MATTHEWS

Don't look at me, Agent Scully. You two are on your own now.

He exits in a rush. Scully helps Mulder get up.

MULDER

You finished the toxicology?

SCULLY

Yes. No signs of barbiturates, no prescription drugs. Mrs. Jacobs probably had less than two glasses of wine. Have you spoken with Jacobs yet?

MULDER

No, we were waiting for you, but Matthews got a little impatient.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NYC PRECINCT - DAY

JACOBS is still agitated, but now more frightened than angry.

JACOBS

I'm telling you I don't remember what happened. One minute I'm driving, the next I'm chewing road weed.

MULDER

Did you discover any cuts or scars on yourself?

JACOBS

You can't hold me here, you know. (to Scully) The charges have been dropped, haven't they?

SCULLY

No charges have been filed, yet, but--

MULDER

If you will submit to a simple physical, I guarantee you things will go a lot easier.

Jacobs looks at Scully for advice. She nods her head. Resigned, Jacobs pulls down his shirt collar -- and reveals a triangular-shaped scar on his neck.

JACOBS

At first I thought this was some kind of elaborate practical joke -- something Bill and Joe cooked up -- the Letterman booking, the scar -- but when they told me about Ruth...

He is about to cry, but fights back.

SCULLY

It's okay, Jesse --

JACOBS

It's not okay. Ruth dying is seriously not okay! My missing time is seriously not okay!

MULDER

There are some very qualified therapists in the city who can help you.

JACOBS

The joke is over, now! It's over!! I'm not seeing a shrink. The stage is my shrink.

SCULLY

We're just trying to help.

JACOBS

Bring Ruthy back. Then you'd help.

EXT. FOOD VENDOR STANDS - FEDERAL BUILDING - DAY

MULDER purchases a hot dog, SCULLY a falafal. They walk towards the Bureau's office building.

SCULLY

Jacobs is suffering from exhaustion, but there are no other scars or scratches on him.

MULDER

At least he's alive and on the planet.

SCULLY

He probably just got scared and ran out of his car at the last minute.

MULDER

The trucking dispatcher said the driver left behind a diary. Apparently, he had previous contacts. And they all happened on that same stretch of road.

SCULLY

Driving at night can get very monotonous, very fast, Mulder. The road's been known to hypnotize truck drivers before. It's part of the job.

MULDER

Not last night.

SCULLY

How can you be sure?

MULDER

Because last night was his night off. The dispatcher said he rented the truck for himself.

SCULLY

What was he doing?

MULDER

Broadcasting.

INT. FBI - NY OFFICE - DAY

SCULLY and MULDER enter the office. Mulder picks up a Federal Express package from the desk.

MULDER

The driver's name was Fred Reed, but his handle was "Watcher".

He begins opening the package.

MULDER

(Cont'd) He'd ride back and forth on 17, talking on the CB, telling his stories to anyone who'd listen.

SCULLY

Did many people listen?

Mulder takes out an audiocassette from the package.

MULDER

Yes. And most of them don't own CBs. Langly sent me this tape copy of one of Watcher's talks. It was picked up by a local radio/TV tower, somehow, and transmitted on FM, AM and UHF.

SCULLY

Any ideas how?

MULDER

I'm thinking electromagnetic enhancement, possibly combined with a tracking implant. That would also explain the recurring abductions. Scully, I want Jacobs to undergo hypnotic regression.

SCULLY

No, Mulder...

MULDER

He might be able to remember what happened.

SCULLY

With his active imagination it won't prove anything.

As if starting a demonstration, Mulder puts the audiocassette in a tape player and presses "Play".

WATCHER'S VOICE emerges crackly:

WATCHER's VOICE

...This is Watcher, good buddies, with an eye on the road and an eye on the sky... Remember to stash your trash, you mother truckers, and don't be transporting any of those toxins. Wouldn't want a spill to hurt Mama Earth...

An OTHERWORLDLY VOICE breaks into Watcher's speech. It is barely audible until Mulder cranks up the volume:

 OTHERWORLDLY VOICE

...methylethylketone...trichlor- ethylene... all toxic chemicals are polluting... earth... your mother mourns...

Watcher's Voice now breaks in as the Otherworldly Voice fades out:

WATCHER'S VOICE

...So, clean up your act. And don't diss us contactees. You never know when it could happen to you...

Static interrupts the tape as does an OFFICER who rushes in. Mulder presses "Pause".

OFFICER

There's a call for Scully. It's Jacobs.

SCULLY

Can he hold on a second?

OFFICER

That might be a problem...

CUT TO:

EXT. BUILDING LEDGE - WEST END AVE. - DAY

JACOBS is on the ledge, clinging with one hand to the building, clutching a cell phone with the other. One glance down reveals a 15-story drop.

JACOBS

(on cell phone) Dana... Dana?!

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BLACK FBI SEDAN - DAY

On the dashboard spins a flashing red light. MULDER drives as SCULLY speaks on a cell phone.

SCULLY

Jesse, stay on the phone. We're on the way.

MULDER

It must be your maternal instinct that attracts him.

Scully reproaches him with a sour look.

EXT. BUILDING LEDGE - WEST END AVE. - DAY

JACOBS

Dana... I can't get away from it... Dana, make it stop...!

Petrified, Jacobs turns to look behind him:

INT. JACOBS' APARTMENT - SAME TIME

We move inside, past the small table covered with half-opened Chinese food containers. Stationed right beside the only door to the apartment is the TV. On it, through the static, are IMAGES of environmental catastrophes: oil spills, firestorms, earthquakes, toxic explosions... Superimposed on these images, almost subliminally, is one word: "A W A K E".

 
 

"Above Mulder is the massive hull

of a saucer-shaped space craft. "

ACT TWO:

INT. JACOBS' APARTMENT - DAY

The door bursts open, MULDER and SCULLY rush in. Scully moves over to the window.

SCULLY

Jesse... Jesse... ?!

Mulder sees the TV and approaches it cautiously.

EXT. BUILDING LEDGE - WEST END AVE. - SAME TIME

JACOBS is still clutching the side of the building. SCULLY leans out of the window, extends her hand.

SCULLY

It's okay, Jesse. Just grab my hand...

JACOBS

Is it off? Turn it off!!!

SCULLY

Grab my hand, Jesse. It's okay.

JACOBS turns to look inside the apartment -- and sees the TV still on, the images repeating even more rapidly.

JACOBS

No...!!

He loses his balance, and almost slips off the ledge.

SCULLY

Hold on! (turns to Mulder) Shut it off, Mulder!

INT. JACOBS' APARTMENT - SAME TIME

MULDER doesn't want to turn it off. He is so close to the TV his hair is standing on end.

SCULLY

Mulder!!

Mulder tries changing the channel, but it is on all the stations. Reluctantly he pushes the power button -- but the TV remains on. He reaches behind the set and yanks the power cord. Sparks fly, but the TV still stays on.

JACOBS

(off) Dana!!!

Mulder throws a blanket from the couch over the TV. The set bursts into flames, the blanket starts to catch fire. MULDER removes his jacket and starts putting out the flames with it.

EXT. BUILDING LEDGE

JACOBS slips, but SCULLY grabs his arm in time. He is now hanging fifteen flights by her strength alone. She struggles to pull him inside -- and almost falls out the window -- when Mulder assists her just in time. They both pull Jacobs inside.

INT. JACOBS' APARTMENT

MULDER and SCULLY seat a shaken JACOBS on the couch. While Scully comforts him, Mulder attends to the smoldering TV, making sure the fire is completely out. Jacobs contemplates the damage.

JACOBS

Hey Mulder, you want to buy a used TV?

Mulder is not amused.

SCULLY

How long were you out there, Jesse?

JACOBS

(points to TV) Since that thing started talking to me. I don't know... in the middle of Oprah. Sometime after four.

Mulder shakes out the soot from his jacket, turns to Jacobs.

MULDER

Can you sit still for one minute?

JACOBS

(suspicious) You're not leaving me here, are you?

MULDER

We'll be right outside the door. Mulder gestures to Scully who follows him into the hall.

INT. HALLWAY - OUTSIDE JACOBS' APT.

MULDER

I'm going to that TV station to check out their transmission frequencies. In the meanwhile I'd like you to give Jacobs a CAT SCAN. See if you can register an implant and then remove it.

SCULLY

You're not serious, Mulder.

MULDER

Something is happening to Jacobs to make him a receptor of unknown transmissions. Him and the truck driver. The implant may hold the key.

SCULLY

Those signals could originate from any of the dozens of towers, micro- waves, or satellites bombarding this area. You don't need an implant to receive them, Mulder. Just a defective TV.

MULDER

Whatever it is, we can't leave Jacobs alone again. Keep him under observation, then get out to the Earth Mothers in Downsville.

SCULLY

The Earth Mothers?

MULDER

They're an environmental group the truck driver was associated with. (hands her papers) Here's their background. I'll take the rental car -- (a touch of a smile) it's got a CB.

He exits briskly. Just as he disappears down the hall, MATTHEWS appears from the other end, and, like a stalker, follows Scully unnoticed back inside the apartment.

INT. JACOBS' APARTMENT

SCULLY sits next to JACOBS on the couch. He has become softer and, in an odd way, compassionate.

JACOBS

I'm sorry to put you through this. I really am. I just didn't know who to call, what to do--

Scully pats his hand. Jacobs reaches out and hugs her, burying his sobs in her chest.

SCULLY

Shhh...shhh...

MATTHEWS makes his appearance known with a flash from his camera.

MATTHEWS

Doing a little baby-sitting, Agent Scully?

Scully turns with a start.

SCULLY

Detective Matthews... I thought you were off the case.

Matthews roams the apartment, possessing things with his eyes: the TV, the table, Jacobs and Scully.

MATTHEWS

Just keeping an eye on the imparti- ality of our Federal Compatriots. That's why I'm letting your supervisor -- Skinner, isn't it? -- in on your little love tryst.

Scully is indignant.

MATTHEWS

(Cont'd) I hear he's a photography buff. (smiles) It's getting cold in D.C., Scully. Bring a sweater.

He exits, chuckling.

EXT. RADIO/TV TOWER - ESTABLISHING SHOT - NIGHT

INT. RADIO/TV CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

MULDER stands behind two technicians: CARL, who jots notes on a clipboard as he watches the meters on several dozen audio and videotape machines; and TONY, who solders wires on a nearby bench.

CARL

The station is fully automated. They only bring us in if something breaks down or blows up.

TONY

Or screws up.

MULDER

Like that broadcast from today?

TONY

Fried six boards. Never seen so much smoke.

CARL

We still don't know what it was. Management was crawling all over this place half-an-hour ago.

MULDER

Are you capable of receiving satellite transmissions?

CARL

Of course. But nothing comes in unless it's routed through the Switch.

MULDER

Would you please show me the Switch?

Carl leads him over to an electronic routing machine.

CARL

We can take in a signal from any satellite or cable feed in the northern hemisphere. But you gotta punch the right buttons, first.

MULDER

Are these fiber optic or dish?

CARL

Both. We've got some dedicated underground lines and a small dish up on the roof.

TONY

All they ever play here are Lassie re-runs. The rest is radio talk shows -- boooring!

CARL

The video band is only UHF. There's some talk about compressing 500 interactive channels through them, but this company is so cheap, that'll never happen.

MULDER

I'd like to see the fiber optic lines and the dish, if you don't mind.

CARL

Come along, then. INT.

RADIO/TV BASEMENT - NIGHT

MULDER follows CARL through the snaking cables that run along the basement walls and floor. They stop when they reach the back wall.

CARL

End of the line. From here on it's Baby Bell's property.

Mulder notices a black-green substance seeping through the floor. He bends down and, with a piece of cardboard torn from his notepad, scrapes some up.

CARL

What the hell is that stuff?

MULDER

I don't know -- yet.

From his pocket Mulder takes a small tin and empties out its contents: sunflower seeds. He places the mysterious substance inside when the lights suddenly flicker on and off.

CARL

Damn it! Not again!

A RUMBLE shakes the ground, buffeting Carl and Mulder against the walls. Debris falls from the ceiling. Another rumble sends them to the ground. More debris falls as they shamble back upstairs.

INT. RADIO/TV CONTROL ROOM - NIGHT

TONY is at the control panels, frantically pushing buttons. With the lights still flickering, MULDER and CARL enter. On the monitors they see the images of global destruction that appeared on Jacobs' TV -- and again with the word: "A W A K E".

MULDER

Can you cut the fiber lines?

CARL

Yes, but--

MULDER

Do it!

CARL rushes to a power switch and pulls the handle -- but the images still flash on the monitors.

MULDER

The satellite dish. Turn it off!

CARL

I can't.

TONY

It gets dedicated power from a generator on the roof.

Mulder grabs Tony by the shoulder and they scramble out, leaving behind a spooked Carl.

EXT. RADIO/TV STATION - ROOF - NIGHT

The roof is illuminated by a single source of light -- the satellite dish -- that is glowing like a beacon.

MULDER and TONY make their way to it, when a beam of light shoots out from it, hitting them with the force of a gale storm. Tony has been knocked unconscious, but Mulder struggles to regain his blurry vision.

In a sequence that is not a POV, not Virtual Reality, but more like a flash-forward, Mulder is enfolded in the images of cataclysmic destruction; and finds himself fighting firestorms... running from earth-quakes... drowning in toxic waste. The gloom and chaos threatens to destroy him, when a celestial light, high above the inferno, guides him towards salvation: his eight-year old sister, SAMANTHA, with a beatific smile, and one word both embedded in and glowing from her: "L O V E".

HIGH ANGLE: Mulder lying still on the roof, the satellite's glow starts to fade, and above it all, the massive hull of saucer-shaped space craft.

 
 

"Behind this consciousness

could be a helping intelligence..." 

ACT THREE:

INT. BACK FBI SEDAN - NIGHT SCULLY drives with a determined but worried look as they speed out of the Lincoln Tunnel and onto the highway.

SCULLY

As long as I'm being investigated, I might as well go for a full suspension.

In the passenger seat, JACOBS lends a sympathetic ear, but it is obvious that he is caught up in the chase.

JACOBS

Jeanine is Matthew's wife. We had a little fling. She hired me to do a benefit in the Catskills for this environmental group. I don't usually play the Borsch Belt, but it's for a good cause.

SCULLY

The Earth Mothers.

JACOBS

Yeah. They want to stop the transport of toxins through the State, but they got a little weird on me. I guess they didn't like my alien jokes...

He abruptly turns sullen; the oncoming headlights play across his face rhythmically. Not wanting to nurse him while she drives, Scully redirects his attention.

SCULLY

Did Mrs. Matthews ever tell you about any "midnight runs"?

JACOBS

(drifting) Huh?

SCULLY

Truckers secretly moving toxins across the State?

Jacobs appears hypnotized by the headlights.

JACOBS

Wha...?

SCULLY

Jacobs!

Jacobs eyes turn distant; there is fear, but also wonder behind his gaze.

JACOBS

That light --

FLASHBACK TO: EXT. FIELD BY HIGHWAY - NIGHT

An intense white light shines on JACOBS, who appears sedated as he floats above the field, higher and higher, until he is shrouded by the light...

INT. ALIEN SPACE CRAFT - "CORRIDOR"

JACOBS is being led by two small BEINGS through the craft when he awakens from his languor; and starts to panic. Flailing his arms wildly he lashes out at the Beings who disperse...

INT. ALIEN SPACE CRAFT - "EXAMINATION ROOM"

JACOBS is overcome by another broad white beam of light; his face contorts in fear, until he sees, emanating from the light source, the contours of a WOMAN'S FACE. It is ethereal and loving, and it envelops Jacobs who eventually succumbs to the rapture...

CUT TO:

INT. BACK FBI SEDAN - NIGHT

JACOBS wakes up, galvanized.

JACOBS

...that blinding white light -- It wasn't the high-beam from an alien space craft... I was suffused with a transcendental light of eternal peace and unconditional love, unlike anything I ever felt before... And you know what, Scully, it scares the crap out of me, 'cause I can't get back on that stage and make a single joke to save my soul. Ha! Now that's funny!

EXT. DOWNSVILLE CIVIC CENTER - NIGHT

SCULLY drives the car into the lot behind this grey cement building and parks. She and JACOBS walk towards a small red service door.

SCULLY

Now Jacobs, let me do the talking. And please don't say anything about the last few days.

JACOBS

Don't worry. Like I really want to be tagged and branded with the rest of these true believers. And why'd you stop calling me Jesse? Hasn't our time together meant anything to you?

Scully is about to issue another warning when the red service door swings open and out hops an ebullient checker-suited middle-aged man -- TRIP FALCON.

FALCON

Jesse! What a pleasant surprise!

JACOBS

Hello, Trip. How's the traveling maid service?

FALCON

Super, super. (suddenly serious) I'm terribly sorry about Ruth.

Jacobs only nods. Falcon turns to Scully.

SCULLY

Mr. Falcon, I'm Federal Agent Dana Scully.

Falcon shakes her hand, although it wasn't offered.

FALCON

Welcome aboard, Agent Scully! Come on in and meet the Mothers.

As Scully opens her mouth to speak Falcon is already sprinting back to the red door. Jacobs gives Scully a "What can you do?" look, and they both follow him.

INT. OFFICE - DOWNSVILLE CIVIC CENTER - NIGHT

FALCON enters and looks over a selection of posters with a twenty-something ASSISTANT. The slogans read: "RECYCLE OR DIE", "DON'T SPILL ON ME", and "YOUR MOTHER MOURNS." SCULLY precedes JACOBS into the room.

SCULLY

I don't want to keep you too long, Mr. Falcon, but I'd like to ask you a few questions.

FALCON

Sure, sure.

He waves away his Assistant, and gives his attention to Scully, who in turn, signals Jacobs away with one precise eyebrow movement.

JACOBS

Excuse me, I think I hear my mother calling.

He exits.

SCULLY

(to Falcon) You have a lot of truckers in your organization.

FALCON

Oh, we're pretty diverse. Some hard-working people trying to get the good message out.

SCULLY

Like the Watcher?

Falcon starts scratching at a red rash on his neck, Scully takes notice.

FALCON

Yes. Fred was a special person -- As you may know, "Others" thought so, too.

SCULLY

Were you aware of his prior conviction for trespassing?

Falcon shrugs his shoulders.

SCULLY

Or his indictment for destruction of private property?

Again, only a shrug from Falcon.

SCULLY

(pulls a flyer out of her purse) These were posted at truck stops along Route 17. They mention the Earth Mothers.

The flyer reads: "Dump on 'em!" over a map of hand-drawn "targets". Falcon registers a quick concern.

SCULLY

(Cont'd) This flyer is urging truckers to dump toxins at the residencies of corporate CEOs, and other--

FALCON

Outrageous! Horrible! But you have to understand, Agent Scully, we can't possibly control anyone who would do something like this.

SCULLY

And you certainly wouldn't encourage it.

FALCON

Certainly not.

INT. MEETING HALL - DOWNSVILLE CIVIC CENTER - NIGHT

JACOBS standing on a table in front of a GROUP of about twenty VOLUNTEERS.

JACOBS

... you know, I never before felt the need to believe. But things change, we grow up. I'm growing up so fast, my mind needs a teething ring...

Very little reaction from his audience, save for a couple of weak, polite smiles. SCULLY and FALCON now enter the hall.

JACOBS

(breaks out in flop sweat) ...when your consciousness expands your priorities change. You start seeing the vast interconnected web of life of which we are all a part. The aliens have taught me this.

(gives up, gets off the table) They love us, have compassion for us, and are trying to save us...

(to himself) Too bad they can't save my act.

The Volunteers disperse like mourners at a wake. Jacobs shuffles morosely to Scully.

JACOBS

They're re-writing my material, Dana. They want me to perform their message during Letterman. The problem is, it ain't funny.

From the back of the hall there is a commotion. The Volunteers have formed an excited, swarming circle around a visitor -- it is WATCHER, the prodigal truck driver. The crowd is so intent on his visit, that no one, except for Scully and Jacobs, notices the next visitor -- a slightly frayed, but resolved, MULDER. Scully meets him, they move to a corner, and speak confidentially.

SCULLY

Mulder, what happened?

MULDER

Watcher was discovered lying in a field not half a mile from the TV station. But while I was at the station, there was another message transmission -- and this one had my name on it.

SCULLY

Mulder...?

MULDER

We shut down the station when it started, but like Jacobs TV and Watcher, I was being channeled by an unremitting extraterrestrial signal. That's when I had my alien encounter.

Scully takes this in for a beat.

SCULLY

How many watts does that station generate?

MULDER

More than fifty thousand. Why?

SCULLY

Massive electromagnetic fields can stimulate the temporal lobe, causing hallucinatory activity in the hippocampus and amygdala. These waking dreams often resemble close encounter scenarios, Mulder. Like yours.

MULDER

We can debate it later, Scully. Right now it doesn't matter. I'll need your analysis on something more earthly.

He turns, signals to Watcher who disengages himself from the Volunteers, and leads the truck driver and Scully out of the hall.

INT. TRUCK DRIVER'S CAB - NIGHT

WATCHER, MULDER and SCULLY are seated in the cab. Scully is examining the black-green substance Mulder retrieved from the TV station.

SCULLY

(concerned) How long have you been carrying this?

MULDER

What is it, Scully?

Scully looks at Mulder's hands. He is scratching at them.

CLOSE ON his hands -- a red rash.

Scully opens a plastic bottle, dabs a wad of cotton with it, and begins disinfecting Mulder's rash.

SCULLY

Trichloroethylene. A highly toxic solvent. Keep the swab on.

(realization) Your rash -- Falcon has the same one. And that manager at the comedy club.

WATCHER

Kent Chemical ships that stuff on midnight runs. The word was there's a hunk of change available for dumping it at the Downsville TV station.

SCULLY

Why would someone want to dump it there?

Watcher shrugs.

MULDER

(to Watcher) Who do truckers contact for these midnight runs?

WATCHER

Well, they wouldn't talk to me, but I kinda know where to find 'em.

MULDER

Far from here?

WATCHER

About two miles down the road there's a storage facility behind Kent Chemical. That's the contact point.

MULDER

Thanks. Now go back to your family.

Mulder and Scully exit the cab as Watcher starts the engine.

WATCHER

You be careful.

EXT. DOWNSVILLE CIVIC CENTER - NIGHT

MULDER and SCULLY rush across the parking lot.

INT. MEETING HALL - DOWNSVILLE CIVIC CENTER - NIGHT

SCULLY and MULDER run into the now-empty hall, then into Falcon's office.

INT. OFFICE - DOWNSVILLE CIVIC CENTER - NIGHT

The solitary ASSISTANT turns when they enter.

ASSISTANT

If you're looking for Trip, you just missed him.

SCULLY

Where's Jacobs?

ASSISTANT

(shrugs) I don't think anyone noticed him.

INT. BLACK FBI SEDAN - NIGHT

They are driving fast and furious, without siren or flashing light.

EXT. ROAD BEHIND STORAGE AREA - KENT CHEMICAL - NIGHT

The sedan's headlights are shut off as it enters this unpaved secluded road.

INT. BLACK FBI SEDAN - NIGHT